Anxiety Theory: Fear

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In my quest to find the cause of my anxiety I have a second theory. This one might actually be rather common, the fear of failing. It's not for your typical reason though, I don't really care about the failing itself, I fail daily. I fear failure, because it means I have to start over and spent another 6 months of my life on something I just want to be done with.

Before I started graduation I spend a year away from university, working a full-time job. I was content with the relative simplicity of life. No pressure, when I left the building I was done with work. Now, everywhere I go I am confronted with the fact that I still have to finish my graduation.

This fear to have to do it all over again is at the same time a terrific motivator, as well as a rock tied around my neck. Ultimately I do believe this to be the main reason for my anxiety, the problem is that I can't really do much about it. As I mentioned in my blog post about the human psyche, we can't change the rules, all we can do is change the input. This fear won't go away, so I have to change all the other variables.

Until next time.
- Stef Nijenhuis